It seems I am to be an excellent disciple of jesus.
This didn't occur to me until last night. It seems it is my 100% reason for being, what I owe to you, what I owe to all creation.
Seems to me that is the use of life that we are all called to. For the joyful Collective and individual life of it.
73 years and 3 months old. What a tragedy that it's taken me till now to understand this. What a hideous indictment of christianity.
An extremely intelligent studied serious young man, driving truck, ask to sit down with me this morning at the table where I am sequestered waiting for the fog to lift this afternoon.
I came to find out he is a very serious Christian, extremely knowledgeable, very genuine.
This became evident toward the end of our 15-minute Exchange as he was unable to contain how uncomfortable, disturbed, deeply upset he was with my understandings that I had shared with him, that I couldn't care less if Jesus is the son of god, I find only fragments that my soul considers Godly in the other 62 books of the Bible.... . He was deeply upset that the beginning and the end of the teachings and example that I follow are the four gospels, Jesus teachings and example therein.
Based on his comments and words, had I not mentioned during our 15-minute exchange, Jesus, but all the rest of the 62 books in our conversation he would not have been Disturbed at all, he would have been very pleased.
But that I find the complete answer in the canonical gospels, the words and example of the man jesus, he found horrifying.
And I think he found it very disturbing, that is, though I didn't try to threaten his belief system, I think he felt it shaking to the core.
More to the point of what began occurring to me last night, a tremendous gift I think. James, who are you? What are you to be in this completely evil lost world that we've made?
It seems I've been stumbling toward the answer. But there is a seeming completeness, a strength, and empowerment in the notion that I am to be the best possible disciple of the man Jesus. Full stop. It seems to be a joyful, complete, strong, sufficient Way for me in this volcano of evil World in which we live.
Also, it is beyond insidious, beyond horrible, how we have allowed language to be corrupted in this area.
Were there disciples in Jesus day? Well, by all historical record, there were. About a dozen although I don't think they ever remotely understood jesus. They had no conception of the Holy spirit. No, they didn't receive it by some magic trick on pentecost. Not by any reasonable understanding, not by any evidence.
But let's say they were at least trying, and they certainly were understood as disciples, disciplines students.
BBut when today I did a Google search on Disciples of jesus, the only prominent result was the mormons, who are not Disciples of jesus, their Disciples of Joseph Smith. No one gives a thought the discipleship means nothing that it did in the day of jesus. No one gives it a thought. It's absolutely incomprehensible.
Jesus said: Everyone who does evil hates the light and does not come into the light lest his deeds be exposed. But whoever lives the truth, comes to the light that his deeds may be shown as a reflection of God.
... the only reason I can figure that we don't want to come to Jesus exclusively, he casts too much light. We don't want to be in that light. My soul does, for the collective and individual joyful life of it.
Jesus said: This is how my Father is glorified; that you bear much fruit and, by doing so, are my disciples.
Notice, he didn't say anything about waiting, for the stuff John makes up in his gospel, for the revelations which John made up, for the stuff out of Paul's and Scribe and Pharisees background, for christianity, for constantine, for the Nicene creed, for luther, for the women at the tomb, he didn't say anything about waiting to be a disciple. How odd. It's almost like he implied that he told us everything we need to know. And that's how it seems to me.