Disciple James log: James just escaping hell for 4 days. Would like to avoid that again.


The point isn't that James feels sorry for himself more than anyone should feel sorry for him. 

The point is that with extensive study, endless work, constant vigilance, hell is just a careless banana peel slip away. James would not like to do that again. It's been hell for 4 days or so. He will, but maybe less frequently, maybe getting out quicker. 

It is said that hell is separation from god, from Jesus. Truer words have never been spoken. 

James, you've done nothing but study Jesus for 2 years now! Yep! It has saved my life. But it is not foolproof, any more than any strenuous pursuit is foolproof. There are pitfalls, there are lapses, there is falling out of the groove, they're horribly expensive. Tremendously painful. Hell. It's tremendously important to learn to avoid them, to escape them quickly, and to share the knowledge. 

It took more than a banana peel or two to slip on for James here. 

Beyond strenuous travel requirements for a variety of reasons led to extreme physical and spiritual exhaustion. Being with jesus, being with god, is joyful, extensive, strenuous, task of imagination. That requires energy. James went into huge energy debt. 

Alarming, frightening, dangerous vehicle issues seem to crop up. 

James is part of the vehicle, and his ability to cycle all of a sudden fell apart, broke down, went awol. 

Imagine how Yoda felt when clone protocol 66 was activated, and all of the Jedi were almost instantly exterminated. That's what's happening in Palestine and in the United states. Empire, the Western nations, are the emperor of star wars, they've long had implanted in them clone protocol 66, and now it is there for us to witness unfolding. And the horror is, well, more than James is equipped to deal with yet. And in the face of this he sees almost nothing but citizens of the empire, citizens of the city in hunger games, clueless, soulless, cold dead souls, and even greater more horrifying evil than seeing the perpetrators.

James is finding rural Georgia the nastiest environment that he's been in. And it may be more than just his imagination. It's creepy, it's frightful. Point being, he doesn't have yet the capacity to deal with it effectively.

There have been some terrible nights in walmarts, people recognizing no boundaries, mindless, noisy around the vehicle, approaching the vehicle, touching the vehicle late at night. Adding to the fatigue and the stress. 

Prior to leaving heaven and entering hell for 5 days ago, being a cauldron of raging humanity, the holy spirit, he was handling this almost effortlessly. Without it he was a fearful anxious tormented judgmental angry rich.

If not a perfect storm for having the soul killed, which is what has happened to James for 4 days now, his soul was dead, his flesh was alive and in charge, if not a perfect storm, quite a good one. A tornado of trials, tribulations, cares of this world... All things Jesus warned about.

The point is not that such conditions Force One into hell. The point is that they can, and with all his preparation, and with all his work, and with all his growth, James does not yet have the skill to always avoid being pressed from having to hell.

It will happen again. And again. And again. But shame on James if it's not less frequent, and he doesn't recover more quickly. If he doesn't take opportunities like this to learn, to grow, to become stronger, and to share.

Lessons learned, possibly, to some degree, hopefully...: 

  • James, you can't do it alone. Please know, you can't do it alone. 
  • Doing it with jesus, doing it with creator, means every breath ragingly unleashing your humanity. When you're cycling, when you're alone at night, when you're in the presence of someone, when you're entering a store, every moment that you are not ragingly unleashing your Humanity within yourself on your surroundings, you are begging for hell to overtake you. Ragingly unleashing your Humanity is submission to god, is submission to jesus, everything else, is not. 
  • You are not here to judge others james. People are not here to please you. Conditions are not here to please you. And when you find yourself judging, wanting to be pleased, wanting to be satisfied, being satisfied... Take heed james! You're on the slippery slope to hell. Your business is to serve. Your joy is to serve. You're not here at your own pleasure, you're here to delight Creator and jesus. That's where your joy is. That's the only place Joy is. Try to remember James
  • Don't delay when you recognize the symptoms james, when you sense that your soul is going dead. Try whatever you have to. Do whatever you have to. Keep trying. Knock and it shall open to you. Seek and you shall find. Keep at it man. Including the screaming you were doing while cycling today, in an attempt to reawaken your soul, to enliven it, to empower it, to get it reborn, to startle it back alive. Talk to yourself, talk to god, talk to Jesus. 
  • Recognize the delusions creeping in when they do james. That you're in control or should try to be in control. That you should be safe or even try to be safe. That you should be giving space. This world is unfolding hell. No one is safe. You're not here to be safe james. No one is in control james. You are not here to be in control. You are here to be waged by your humanity. Embrace that. That's where the peace is james. That's where the joy is.
  • So much more to learn. Just keep trying james. Ultimately, that's what delights Jesus and creator, and yourself.