Disciple James log: Discipleship may be the ultimate nervous system challenge


There is an Alice in wonderland aspect to it. There is a mental, emotional, spiritual, neurological challenge that brings to mind the training of a jedi, the training that neo went through. 

This is not a bad thing. 

This is not a good thing. 

Jesus said, unless you hate your very life in this world, you cannot be my disciple.

Unless you forsake your life in this world you cannot be my disciple, he said. 

The same might have been said by Yoda to Luke skywalker, if it was not. And by morpheus, to neo.

And imagination. It is as though the disciple needs to constantly be imagining the alternative to The matrix, living in it, acting from it, managing the interaction with the matrix. It is a Herculean undertaking. 

It is the imagining of the world as it should be, while living it, while fighting the evils of the prevailing world.

It is a creative process, and artistic process, largely involved with sculpting oneself, one's nervous system, near impossible scale. Emotional, intellectual, vision, understanding.... Required at immense scale.

And I think it's the only hope. It seems that Jesus thought it was the only hope.

If there were many attempting it together, it would be immeasurably easier I think

There is much that I've been doing beside this explicit mission of being and attempting to spawn disciples. This is a type of hubris. James focus must dramatically increase.

James has been trying to stretch Way beyond what's possible. Jesus didn't make that mistake. Some of what I've always seen as harshness in him, I'm not understanding may have been more realism as to what the job requires, and what is overstretch.

James, you have to focus on discipleship. Your own, and those who are certain they feel called. Those that are not certain, the website is there, you sweat blood to put it there. Yes, it's your understanding of discipleship. But you'll have to rely on that. If someone struggles with it to the point where they're sure they're called to discipleship, then you need to devote energy there. Until that point, you need to leave it between them and the website. 

Helping souls that are in any of the categories that Jesus said were saved, when possible, when allowable james, not cutting into your focus, of course you need to do that!. But you need to become much more humble james. You need to become much more realistic. You all but broke this time. Learn.

To dream the impossible dream

To fight the unbeatable foe

To bear with unbearable sorrow

To run where the brave dare not go

To right the unrightable wrong

To love pure and chaste from afar

To try when your arms are too weary

To reach the unreachable star

This is my quest to follow that star

No matter how hopeless, no matter how far

To fight for the right without question or pause

To be willing to march into hell for a heavenly cause

And I know if I'll only be true to this glorious quest

That my heart will lie peaceful and calm

When I'm laid to my rest

And the world will be better for this

That one man, scorned and covered with scars

Still strove with his last ounce of courage

To fight the unbeatable foe

To reach the unreachable star

And Jesus said, you cannot follow me unless it is granted by my father. From then many went back and walked with him no more. Many are called, but it seems that few are chosen to respond to the call. In a way, Jesus seems to be forgiving of it, they just can't do it. They just aren't called. Creators decision it would seem.